


Remember Well the Words

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Doctor takes off at the end of Demons Run, where does he go?  He goes to the one person he knows can tell him where Melody is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Well the Words

**Author's Note:**

> At the end of Demons Run, the Doctor is giddy, but he runs away from everyone. The next time we see him in Let's Kill Hitler, when River appears from Melody he seems to put all of the pieces together. He definitely loves her at that point and we assume that is what he whispers to her. So, here is what I think may have happened in between.

The TARDIS materialized in front of River's cell in Stormcage. It was nighttime and there were no sounds other than the engine echoing off the walls. She had long given up on telling him to quit leaving the brakes on. He was going to do it anyway because he loved the sound. Honestly, so did she. As soon as she heard the sound she got up, put on some lipstick, fluffed her hair, and stood waiting for him to open the door. When The Doctor appeared she cooed, "Hello, Sweetie." 

She had never seen a bigger smile on his face. Without saying anything, he soniced the door to her cell, grabbed her hand, and pulled her in to the TARDIS. She let him set a course to get them out of the prison, and then as she was walking up to him, about to tease him for his driving, the Doctor turned around and gave her the biggest hug. He lifted her in his arms and twirled her around, laughing the entire time. When her feet met the floor again she leaned back and looked at him. His eyes were glittering with mirth and she hadn't seen him that happy in ages. "Where are you coming from?" she asked suspiciously.

"Demons Run. I just met Melody Pond."

River returned his smile. "So you finally found out who I am. And when you left us all standing there, taking the TARDIS and running off, you came straight here to see me?" He nodded in reply. "Why? I was standing right there! If you wanted to spend time with me so bad you could have taken us all home in the TARDIS instead of leaving us there!" she smacked him on the arm. 

"Oww, River!" He rubbed his arm. "I wanted to give you time to be with Amy and Rory, for as long as you needed to. And I, well I couldn't wait to go find Baby Melody." He took her face in his hands and looked at her in wonder. "And there were some things I wanted to do alone, without the eyes of your parents on me." 

He had been thinking about the last time she kissed him, their first kiss for him. He had been thinking about it a lot actually and he had decided long ago that he wanted to do it again. Then he had found out who she was, all of the things she was, and he really really wanted to do it again. He gave her a small unsure kiss. And then he he did it again, a bit longer this time. He felt her respond and kiss him back. Kissing her was just as good as he remembered, even better. He forgot all about being unsure and threw himself into kissing her. His arms wound around her and pulled her close, their kiss deepening. River, amazing River Song, was kissing him back. He was almost giddy. He was getting lost in her and almost forgot that other thing he wanted to try. 

About 30 seconds after he had shut the TARDIS door at Demon's Run, he realized what kissing her could be like if she was part Time Lord. That had added a whole other dimension to his kissing River fantasies. He was a little scared to try it, scared of what he would find, but he let his time energy reach out to her, looking for something familiar. When his energy found it's mate in River, a shock bolted straight to his core. He jumped back in surprise. He looked at River with wide eyes. She was faintly glowing from the energy, breathless. She looked back at him with love in her eyes, knowing this was quite a big moment for him. In her timeline, they had done this many times and when they were in bed together, well it could be explosive. But she understood that this was the first time in a very long time he had felt that.

He grabbed her and kissed her again, hungrily. This time he didn't pull back when the shock hit, he let it flow through him and it ignited his whole being. He pulled her as close as he could. He could feel her soft curves against him and his body was responding. The longer it had been since he had seen her, the more he had been thinking about kissing her, and the more his body had started waking up. There were a lot of nights alone in the TARDIS thinking about her, and he had been quite annoyed that he now had to deal with all of these hormones raging through his body. But having her actually in his arms was overwhelming and not annoying at all. Her breasts were soft against his chest, her hips were softly moving against his. His body started to tighten and there was a delicious ache growing. When she pulled back to catch her breath, he held her close, laying his head against hers. "Oh God, River. How could I have missed that all of this time? How could I have not recognized the Time Lord in you?" he asked against her hair. "Were you hiding it from me somehow?"

"Maybe a bit," she answered him honestly. "But you weren't looking for it, and there isn't enough regeneration energy left for you to pick up on if you aren't looking for it I suppose." 

He leaned back and looked at her, questions all over his face. He opened his mouth to speak but she put a finger across his lips. "Spoilers. You know I can't tell you." She had known it was a risk to tell him the truth, but he would be looking for the Time Lord in her. He would figure it out himself soon enough.

Something inside of him dropped. He had just discovered she was Time Lord, that she had Time Lord energy, but he had already watched her die. She did not regenerate in the Library. And she had just confirmed that her energy had been depleted somehow. What had happened to her? He closed his eyes. "It was probably me. Probably something I did." he thought. He cursed in Gallifreyan, leaned back and took her hands. "Whatever happened, I am so so sorry." 

"Doctor, stop that." River said. "What's done is done." She didn't seem too upset about it. Why not? he thought. What did I do to cause this? He was going to try to ask her again but all of the sudden she was kissing him again. He moaned and kissed her back, his arms winding around her again, but his thoughts wouldn't go away. He wanted to ask her so many things. Yes, he had come here to do this very thing, but he had also come to ask her something. The next time they parted to breathe, with a shaky voice he said, "We should talk now. Talking would be good." 

He grabbed her hand and took her to the library. It was his favorite room on the TARDIS. He pushed away the River/Library uneasiness that popped up in the back of his mind and led her to a couch. They sat down together, he with an arm outstretched along the back, long fingers just brushing her hair. He looked at her seriously. "River, I know you draw a very hard line when it comes to spoilers, but I need you to tell me where to find you. Where do I go to find Baby Melody?" 

River closed her eyes and shook her head. "No Doctor, No. That's against the rules. Your rules." 

"I know," he replied, "But I have to know. I could spend years looking. Amy and Rory are waiting for me to find their daughter. They _need_ me to find her. I can't leave them in that kind of pain, pain that they are in because of me. I know it's against the rules, but I also know that you can tell me. You can at least give me a hint. Please River, please help me find you. We both know that I will, so please help me do it quickly. If I don't waste years doing it, then I'll be able to spend that time with you and your parents." His hand was now on her face, gently brushing his thumb across her cheek. 

Most of the time, she didn't think about her childhood. It reared its ugly head at night when she slept, but most of the time when she was awake, she could concentrate on other things. But the Doctor wanting to go find that child, Amy and Rory's baby, it all flooded back and she was helpless against it. It hurt, it hurt to feel it, but she couldn't tell him. She couldn't point him to where she had been and have him find that lost child.

He watched her face and saw in her eyes that she wasn't going to help him. "River, please." But she shook her head no. He felt anger starting to build. But she had to! This was too important, too big. He couldn't just wander aimlessly, she had to help him. A very bad idea quickly flashed across his mind, and he acted on it without thinking. It was really against the rules, but in that moment he didn't care. He reached into her mind telepathically. She was so off guard that was able to slip in, and he got a rush of images. River quickly realized what he was doing and shut him down. She slapped him across the face and got up angrily, running out of the room.

He sat on the couch in a daze. He hadn't seen much, but what he did see tore him to shreds. She had been thinking about her childhood and the horror that it had been. He had gotten flashes of the orphanage, the training, the brutal punishments she had endured. "Oh my God, I don't find her," he whispered. His mind started racing, all of the implications, the brutality she went through, the little girl in the suit in Florida. He went into a rage. He turned over the small table in front of him, scattering books everywhere. He took a lamp and smashed it to the floor, he pulled over a bookcase and shoved it with all of his might. He was reaching out to tear down the curtains when he felt her hands on his arms. He could vaguely hear her yelling "Doctor! Doctor stop!" and he turned to look at her. 

"Stop!" she commanded him. She put a hand to his face "Look at me. Okay? Look into my eyes. Calm down. Calm. Down." 

He didn't want to, he wanted to tear the place apart, but her words brought him back from the rage. She pulled him back over to the couch and sat down with him again. She held him and stroked his hair and he realized shamefully that she was comforting him. River was comforting him when she was the one who had been through all of that. She should hate him. He looked up at her, "River, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"I know, Sweetie," she said softly. 

"I didn't find you. I let that horrible woman run off with you and..."

She knew that they shouldn't be having this conversation. It was so so dangerous. But she had to tell him, at least part of it. He had seen it in her memory, damn him. He already knew. Now she just needed to make him understand.

"No you didn't find me. Not as a child anyway," she started. "We will talk about you entering my mind uninvited later, but you saw my childhood. You already knew some of it from Florida but maybe you hadn't put it together yet." She told him everything she could about what happened to Melody after Demon's Run. He was silent the entire time, letting her talk. He held her hands and listened. Each word a dagger to his heart. She stopped after telling him about escaping the suit, that was enough of the story for now. He was looking at her, so grief stricken. A tear escaped his eye and ran down the side of his face. She brushed it away. "Oh Sweetie no. Please don't do that."

Then his face brightened in that Doctor way. "But time can be rewritten! I can go back and find you and change all of that, get you out of that horrible place. Or pick you up after you get out the suit. Tell me, River, tell me where to go."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "No! Please don't, don't you dare." 

"But why not? I can..."

"Because I love you!" she said, stopping him. "I don't want you to change anything. If you did, we might not get to where we are going." She reached out and put a hand on his chest. "I know you don't fully know where that is yet," she said slowly, "but trust me when I say that I don't want to change anything. I hope you don't either."

Her words from the Library came back to him. _Not one line, don't you dare._ He really didn't understand. "How, River?" he asked, "How are you sitting there, looking at me like that? How can our future be worth that past? Being ripped from your parents and treated that way? You should hate me, run from me, but you... " he couldn't say 'love me'. She shouldn't. She shouldn't love him. 

"How can I love you? How can I love the Doctor, the man I was programmed to kill? Because you will find me." He looked at her uncertainly. She sighed, and knew she had to tell him something. "Amy and Rory will reach out to you. That is when you will know to go back to them. And after that, you'll find me." He looked a little better at that so she continued, choosing her words carefully as to try to avoid the details. "I won't be very nice to you. But you will get through to that lost crazy girl. Trust me in that, you will get through." She watched him as he thought about it. She could see his mind working, his jaw working along with it. He was putting the pieces together. He would rescue her, just not in the way he thought.

"And eventually, you and I..." the Doctor started to ask.

"You and I what?" River asked, scooting nearer to him. "Do this?" she asked as she touched her lips to his cheek. "And this" she kissed his forehead. "And this" She kissed him on the lips and this time, she didn't stop. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him close. He started to fight it, try to talk sense into her, make her run, but he could feel her hands in his hair, and he realized he didn't want her to stop. He put his arms around her and kissed her back. This time the energy flow between them was warm and steady. He could feel her reaching out to him as he was reaching out to her and he let himself melt into it. It was a long slow delicious kiss that made his head spin.

When they parted, he put both hands on each side of her face and looked into her eyes. He hadn't felt this way about anyone in a very long time. But there was so much about River Song to feel. Infuriating River Song, who had tormented him over and over again with everything she knew that he didn't. Brave River Song who had given her life in his place. Intelligent River Song who could teach him a thing or two when he wanted to listen. Sweet River Song, the daughter of his best friends, who was comforting him even now when someone should be comforting her. Amazing River Song, who kicks ass all over the universe. Time Lord River Song, child of the TARDIS who could fly her better than he could. This woman was looking at him, loving him, not wanting him to change a minute they had together even though a lot of it had been awful for her. How does she do that? Had here ever been a creature created that was more special than her? No, he didn't think so. That's when he realized, he loved her too. Through all of the craziness of mixed up timelines, through all of the of hurt and confusion, he loved her back. He, the Doctor, was in love. And damn it, he would do anything for her. Including not rewriting her history, as much as it killed him, if that is what she wanted.

"River, I.. I.." Damn it, he couldn't say it. Why couldn't he tell her? He pulled her to him and buried his face in her hair. Because he knew what it meant for her, for all of them. To love the Doctor was to be in mortal peril. It always ended badly for them, and he knew how it ended for River. 

River knew what he was trying to say. She knew that he loved her. He would tell her the very next time he saw her. He had told her on their wedding night and many times after. But these long stretches in Stormcage were brutal. She was afraid that she would keep seeing younger versions of him and she knew that it was possible that the next time she saw him he wouldn't love her or maybe not even like her. Every time she heard him say those three little words, she was afraid it would be the last time. She needed to hear it now.

He felt her weaker energy shimmering, reaching out for him. Again he wondered what had happened to her regeneration energy, had it he caused that? Had the Silence taken it from her at some point? He was sad about it. She was part Time Lord but an important part of that had been taken from her. He would have to work on that one. In the meantime, he let his energy meet hers and envelope her, comforting her and at least giving her the feeling of Gallifrey, even for a little while.

He pulled her back again, looked into her eyes, and said "I apologize for invading your memories. It was very wrong of me and I'll never do it again."

"If you do, every one of your future regenerations will have scars all up and down their backs from my red high heels."

He smiled at her. "I don't doubt it for a second." He touched her face, "River, say it again. Please."

"I love you, Doctor."

"I love you too, River Song." 

~

That night they had made love for the first time, the first time for him anyway. He was embarrassed and ashamed that he wasn't the lover she was probably used to. At least not yet. But she had been just as hungry for him as he hoped she would be and the whole thing was so much better than he had fantasized. To have her naked under his fingers, under his mouth, under his body... oh God he couldn't wait to do it again. They had both enjoyed themselves, to say the least. He couldn't remember being happier in a very very long time as he held her while she slept.

\------------------

A few days later, a guard appeared at her cell. "Mail for you, Doctor Song," and he handed her a package. She never got mail. What in the world could this be? She took the package and found inside a note and something that looked like a snow globe. It was a glass orb on a base, and it had what looked like a small flower of some kind inside. She opened he letter.

_"I won't be very nice to you." - Understatement of the year, River Song. You say that I'm difficult young? You are quite the handful yourself. But I probably deserved it. I'd die for you over and over again, if that is what it takes to show you how amazing you are. I didn't deserve all of your regenerations, however. We will discuss that later, young lady._

_I picked up the orb years ago in a market on Anzeri 7. It's from Gallifrey. I bought it because it was a piece of home, but now I know that it was for you. Give it a shake and think of me. Remember well the words I whispered to you in Berlin. They were true then, they are true now, and they will be true forever. I love you._

River took the orb and gave it a small shake. What looked like golden regeneration energy swirled up around the small flower and the flower opened up to a gorgeous red bloom. She didn't know what the flower was, but it was beautiful. The gold shimmered and twirled around the orb and eventually faded away. The flower stayed open for a bit and then it closed. She shook it again and watched the magic happen again. It was like a snow globe, but it was an illusion of regeneration energy. She touched it to her lips and whispered "Thank you" to the empty cell around her.


End file.
